Mommy Chronicles: Kids Fashion

Seeing their kids all-dolled up is something that parents are ordinarily fascinated about. 

In my case, I love seeing my kids in cute dresses. However, although I have this particular fondness for everything girly when it comes to my kids’ clothes, I still see to it that aside from dressing up to the occasion, feeling comfortable is top priority. 

When choosing their clothes, I consider the place where we’ll go to. If we’re hitting the mall, I don’t mind dressing them up in dresses or actually in any kind of ensemble. But if we’re going somewhere else, say, a friend’s or relative’s house, somewhere without aircondition or somewhere where I know they’ll be running around like there’s no tomorrow, I dress them up in more comfortable clothes, let’s say leggings or shorts, shirt or tank top, rubber shoes or their crocs.

Although kids, particularly toddlers, still don’t care much about fashion, parents can start giving them the liberty, fashion-wise, by the simple act of letting them choose the clothes that they want to wear on a particular day. 

On weekends, even if we’re staying in, I let my kids choose their clothes. Aine loves her dresses. As a four-year-old, she loves to be in frilly, flowy dresses because it makes her feel like a princess. I suppose, every little girl wants to feel that way, anyway. :)

 

No matter how weird their fashion sense can get at this point of their lives, providing them with the freedom to choose can make them feel good. In fact, whenever I let Aine choose her clothes, I can see her “working it.” :-) (See photos as proof, yes?)



I also think it’s never too early to teach them the importance of presenting themselves well through clothes. 

Whenever my kids choose shoes that don’t go well with what they’re wearing, I tell them straightforward why they have to choose another pair. They seldom complain about this. However, there are also instances when I just let them be, no matter how “off” their choices are. Besides, that’s the beauty of being young, you can be as carefree as you want to be. 

I guess, the bottomline is, kids fashion should always be fun. Let your kids wear the clothes that they want to wear. Don’t be too strict on fashion rules, because what are fashion rules anyway? Kids should find “dressing up” as a fun activity. In fact, it is something that mothers and daughters/sons can bond over. 

How about you, what’s your take on this? 

xx, A


Mommy Chronicles is a special section in Style Attempt that showcases tips and discussions about motherhood/parenting. If you have any topic suggestions, feel free to hit the “Let’s talk” button on top of this page.  

It Has Come Down To This

Based on experience, I believe there are really people who can label themselves as “bully magnet.” They are those who even if they didn’t intend to, even if they aren’t doing anything wrong, become butts of ridicule, subject of jokes, pranks, and assaults, which sometimes reach an extent when crying a foul isn’t even enough. 


Image Credit: Reputation.com 

When I was still at school, I’ve had my own fair share of bullying. I remember people grouping together to HATE me, spread humors about me, and make me feel isolated in every possible way. People called me names, they’d pick on me due to my weight, and do things that would make anyone feel really upset. 

Thankfully, I have friends who supported me during those rough times. I don’t care if we were literally outnumbered, since bullies really have the capability to grow their posse over time. I was just very blessed to have people (one or two or three)  who I can share my emotions to, talk to, and cry to whenever the bullying gets too much. 

Bullying, however, doesn’t stop at school. In the workplace, bullying can be taken up a notch, sometimes, with those in power doing the bad tricks. Although I only have a semi-experience of being bullied by an office jerk, I can say that it’s harder at work because it can truly affect your productivity. 


Image Credit: Verifirst.com

Now, with the rampant use of social media, bullying has taken a step further. I remember Chris Lao saying that it is the evil side of social media, and I couldn’t agree more. Cyberbullying is easily done by some people because the Internet provides a wide range of solutions to them.

For one, the World Wide Web is easy to navigate and use. Opening new accounts in platforms like Twitter and Facebook can be done with just a blink of an eye. Setting up blogs for free is also very convenient. With this, no wonder people who like to ruin others reputation can now do so with just a click. People who don’t have anything better to do in life can open new accounts and start publishing malicious contents across various platforms about their bullying subject. Without even knowing it, the person being bullied may find him/herself being the new face of 9gags, memes, and other forms of trolling. If he/she isn’t adept on the works of the Web, s/he may find it hard to put the nonsense down and track the culprit. And that’s where the torture begins. 



Social media is supposed to be a tool to help people connect with each other. It breaks boundaries and give people a chance to communicate with others with just a click. Blogging used to be just about expression. A person blogs because s/he wants to express her ideas or share a specific life experience. Now, blogging is even tainted with various hulabaloos. Even a simple blogger who just wants to blog for the heck of it gets criticized because it has become a business of sorts for most that when a blog doesn’t get “hits,” it can just be looked down upon. 

Social media isn’t about stardom. It isn’t about getting and staying on top, cause again, social media is convenient. Eventually people will get to where you are, assuming that you’re in some stature based on blog rankings and whatnot. Quoting Tony Stark, “There’s no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top.” This very much applies to “social media” power and bullying. Social media changes day by day. Those who think highly of themselves because they feel like Web’s superstars shouldn’t be too complacent, worse, too proud. And those who bully others, should think of what the upshot of their actions will be? Do they really think they’ll get to where they want to be by stepping on someone’s toes? 

Social media should be used for it’s original, sincere purpose - to unite people. Bashing other people, making fun of people, and damaging other people’s reputation through the social media will always come to a halt because people will always think and people will always know. 

xx, A 

That Vicious Pair

High heels are not the easiest and most comfortable shoes to wear. A pair of high heels, particularly those above three inches, can trigger pain that may go beyond the feet. In a study conducted in a university in Finland, scientists share that apart from pain, wearing high heels may have a lasting effect to women. According to the study, getting used to wearing high heels changes the way women walk in general. 

That being said, both men and women question why some women choose to wear those towering heels despite the discomfort and probable lumbar spine injury that one can get if things get worse. Those who have a penchant for these vicious pairs of footwear - whether be it stilettos, wedges, platforms - probably have one thing to say, and an ironic one at that: wearing heels make them feel good. 

I classify this as “vanity pains.” Vanity pains are moments/instances/choices that you make because you like them, they make you feel good, they look good on you, despite the pain, wounds, blisters, awkward stares, and the like that you have to go through. 

Although hard to walk in and can be extremely painful, heels can make any woman feel more confident. The extra height that it provides can make anyone feel ‘above’ others, if you know what I mean. 

According to experts, not all high heels are ‘unhealthy.’ It actually depends on the shoes and the longevity of wearing it. Women are suggested to choose shoes that distribute their weight all over the shoes and not just on the balls of the feet. A good example of heels that has this capability are wedges or platforms. 

(Leopard wedges - AsianVogue; Black platforms - Gold Dot (for sale!))

These types of shoes give its wearer the much needed height without compromising the leg muscles because of its structure. I have lots of wedges that make me feel like I’m wearing ‘flats’ but only elevated because of how they give an even slant to my feet. 

Aside from wedges and platforms, another type of heeled shoes that women can enjoy wearing are called “flatforms.” A type of footwear that said to originate from Ancient Greek, platforms are shoes with thick soles. They are also called clogs or disco boots. 

I remember when I was younger, my mom and older sister would buy clogs. They didn’t look very appealing to me, but in a way, I felt a bit envious because I was a little teenager back then. I always wanted to look taller, but because of my physique and feet size, I didn’t get to wear the clothes and shoes that I want to wear. 

Fast forward to today, I still have small feet (and I’m still small) but a lot of shoe shops now exist to cater to every woman’s needs. And for my first pair of platforms, I got it from one of the most recognized online stores in the Philippines - Virtual Mae. 

I remember seeing this pair from Virtual Mae’s website and not minding it at first. I was never attracted to platforms, to be honest. But I decided to get this pair because I kind of visualized how it’ll look when worn. 

And that visualization is the exact image that you seen in these photos. I love the feminine and ultra chic vibe that this tie-up platforms give. 

Top - Dorothy Perkins
Skirt - Thrifted
Shoes - Virtual Mae
Accessories - Bazaars
iTouch in grey Speck casing 

Walking in platforms needs some getting used to, though, but it’s definitely comfier than wearing a stiletto, in my opinion. 

As a person who can’t run in heels, but love them to bits, I’d suggest to those who experience the same ‘struggle’ in wearing these lovely pairs to know the height that they can trot. Don’t go for super high heel height when you can’t even do a single step in it. Start with low heels first, say kitten heels, then when you feel like you’re used to walking and being kitten heels already, add up an inch to your heel height until you reach that 5-incher pumps! 

Aside from practicing it, I would highly recommend knowing when to rest your feet. Yes it adds up to your height, it can make you look leaner, but wearing heels for a long period of time may affect your muscles and your lower spine area. Avoid triggering unnecessary pains by resting your feet after few hours of being in heels. It pays to always have a pair of comfortable flats in your bag in case your feet starts to feel tired. To those who are commuting to-and-from work (or wherever), experts recommend wearing flats when doing so and just wear the heels when you get to the destination to avoid common mishaps like tripping and prevent pushing your feet’s capabilities to the limits. 

xx, A

Mommy Chronicles: Want Versus Need

(Mommy Chronicles is the new section/segment in Style Attempt that is duly intended for moms/young moms/moms-to-be out there. I thought it’d be great to write about the ‘hat’ that I’m wearing everyday — which is being a parent/mother. If you’re wondering what this section is doing in a fashion blog. Let’s just say that for me living life in style is not just about being fashionable or about clothes, but it’s also about tackling various roles in life with grace.)

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Being a mother is truly the hardest job in the world. I’ve been a mother for almost four years now, and the adjustment period isn’t over yet - far from it. 

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned (and continue to learn) in the past years of parenthood that I would gladly share with friends and with you (readers), it is about setting the difference between “want and need.” 


(Pardon the watermarks, this section was originally named Parenting 101 until I decided to make it ‘more’ me by changing it to Mommy Chronicles. :P ) 

Meet my youngest - Marlena Avery (3 years old) 


My eldest - Marquise Aine (4 years old) 

As parents, we want to give the best to our children. Oftentimes, we feel compelled in providing everything they want. But the thing is, what they want is not necessarily what they need. This matter often leaves parents a bit troubled on how they should deal with it. How to define the needs from the wants? And how to make kids - especially toddlers - analyze and realize the difference? 

A MATTER OF TEAM WORK

My husband has been firm about clearly identifying what our kids “want” from what they truly “need” in life. By doing so, we are able to provide better for them, without feeling that we’re shortchanging them. Simply, “want” is very different from “need.” So how should a parent deal (and deny) with their kids when they want something that isn’t needed anyway? 

First off, let me point out the importance of working on this task with your partner. Know that you are not alone in this process (lest of course you are a singe parent, but even so, you can always seek support from other family members). Be in sync with your partner when it comes to the idea of making your kids analyze the difference between want and need. By doing this thing together, by coming up with solutions that both of your agree with, it will be easier to implement them. Besides, how can the kids understand if they see they’re own parents “not understanding” each other? 

Image Credit: MSN.com

START EARLY

As early as now, with our 3 and 4 year-old kids, we begin instilling in them the difference between want and need. Truth is, it is usual for kids to “want” everything. My eldest would constantly blurt out “Mommy, I want that Barbie,” whenever she sees the advertisement on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel. The attraction to shiny new things is normal - even to adults. 

To make them aware of the difference between want and need, we apply two different approaches: 1) straightforward NO, and 2) reward system. 

There are times when I would tell Aine that “Okay, if you get high grades at school, I’ll buy you that.” Another thing that I often tell her is “If you’re a good girl, I’ll give that to you.” This would end the conversation at once. These words would teach them to work for what they want. By giving them the option of “reaping the rewards” later, they will not only start learning about obedience, but they’d also value what they do and be better at it. 


Image Credit: H2oyouth.org 

However, there are days when even if she has just received something new from us or from their grandparents (a dress, toys, etc.), she’d still say that she wants something. When this happens, I tell her frankly that “Hey, Mommy just gave you this. Hindi lahat ng gusto ipapabili ha. (We don’t always have “to buy” or ask for everything we want, okay.)”

Or sometimes, I do give her options just so she’d have an idea that money must be valued and spent well. “Okay, bibilhin ko yan pero hindi na kita bibilhan ng pagkain at gatas. (I’ll buy you that but I won’t buy you food and milk anymore.)” By hearing milk and food, Aine instantly processes the fact that those are the things we spend our money on, thus, if she wants a new toy yet again or something that she doesn’t really “need” anyway, we’d have to sacrifice what’s really important for the lesser significant things. 

Image Credit:  Mashable.com

By applying either the reward system or the straightforward approach, kids get to have a better grasp of the truth that what they want isn’t always what they need. Also, by not giving in to their tantrums whenever they want something, parents are able to help their kids build good characters early on in life. 

Me when my youngest - Avery - was having her ‘episode’ in a party


As much as it hurts us parents to not have the ability to provide everything that we wish we can provide our kids with, it is our duty to mold them into responsible and obedient human beings. With their dependence on us at this stage of their lives, we must grab the opportunity to teach them values that they can carry on in life until they grow old and grey, which they can also teach to their kids someday.

xx, A




If you have topic suggestions or questions about motherhood/parenthood/kids, you may drop me a line at styleattempt[at]gmail[dot]com with the subject MOMMY CHRONICLES. Would be great to hear from you! <3 

Friends, Lovers, Enemies

You can choose your friends. You can most certainly go for the proper person to love. And by choosing the right battles, you can have the [right] enemies. 

I’m just extremely thankful that God provided me with friends who are true to me. They tell me off when needed but they support my ways nonetheless. They positively influence my life. As I grow older, I’ve come to realize that friendship is indeed not forced. It is something that comes and stays naturally. I may not have a posse who’d back me up when the evil occurs, but I’ve an army of great people who will be there to help me stand as I fall in conquering my battles. 



Love, on one hand, has been given to me five years ago. How fortunate I am that up to this day, despite all the things that transpired in the past, we remain strong, with each other as source of inspiration and more? If I know one thing, this love goes beyond a certain ‘need.’ It is something that’s not driven by the need to be with someone, by a need in the form of materialism or the carnal kind. It’s something that has grown and nurtured throughout the years.



Lastly, enemies. You know what they say about enemies, “Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer?” I may not fully agree with this because why waste effort on your enemies? What I think is important is knowing who your enemies are and leaving it that way. Not saying that you shouldn’t reach out and try to think of the possibility of ironing things out with the person/people. It’s more of the “live and let live” kind of thing. However, defining who your enemies are is a difficult task in itself. Is a person threatening your position or disposition in life an enemy? Is a person who isn’t your friend, your enemy? How do you set the difference? How would you know? 



I guess in choosing all three, it all boils down to intuition. What does your heart tell you? Is it giving a thumbs up with a resounding ”GO FOR IT?”  

Dress - Multiply.com
Shoes - Gold Dot (For sale) 
Necklace - Bazaar
Specs - Mango

Living life fully isn’t just about doing a million and one things, going after your goals one day at a time. It’s also about thinking and thanking. Thanking the people who are with you, who love you for who you are, and even those who have done you wrong. At the end of the day, all of them - either friends, loved-ones, or enemies - have contributed to who you are as a person. Just be grateful. 

xx, A